Out of the depths I called unto you, come Your return shall rekindle the spark in my eyes Neither done nor forsaken the touch of your hand To the sound of your laughter shall glow here again
Out of the depths I called unto you, come ‘neath a moon that shines brightly your way back to me In your ear whisper ask again
Who is it that calls to you tonight, listen Who sings aloud under your window Who stakes his soul just for you to be happy Who’ll lend his hand to build you a home Who’ll lay his life down under your footsteps Who like the earth at your feet shall live on Who’ll love you better than all of your lovers Who’ll save you from the rage of the storm Out of the depths
I was struck by his father’s claim that the shooter was calm ,cool, collected and “well-dressed.” In fact, I found it odd that his father even mentioned how he was dressed when asked about his son’s disposition. Either his father didn’t really know him at all, or the father was being more self-protective than attempting to assist with answers.
When I placed the untimed chart outside of the event chart–a practice I follow when one chart is untimed since I find it to be more accurate, 8th house Mars in the inner chart for the massacre was forming a conjunction to the shooter’s Sun, most likely opposing his Moon and squaring the Moon. But whether we consider just his having been in the midst of his Saturn return, he was clearly in the midst of a major series of personal tests:
Not only was transiting Mars in hard aspect to natal Mars, transiting Jupiter was also opposing natal Jupiter, giving rise to my own speculation that he was not only self-radicalized if we’re to believe the news reports now coming out, he was testing his own allegiance to his goal of performing this heinous act. Take note that whether or not he felt he had ever succeeded in his life with goals, the transiting Sun conjunction to his natal Chiron in opposition to his natal Uranus inclines me to believe this was what he was considering an achievement.
In my book, it doesn’t mean he wasn’t gay or even had tendencies toward bisexuality, rather that it was his effort to eradicate homosexuality which he may even have realized meant his own demise as well. With the transiting Sun in opposition to his natal Uranus, triggering the natal Chiron-Uranus opposition, I’m inclined to think he was also trying to escape what he considered to be his own personal demons he may not even have wanted to face.
That portion of his stellium where Venus and Pluto are conjunct shares the 8th house cusp by a partile degree on either side. Such positioning could indicate his awareness that he wouldn’t come out alive. Mind you, how he would have known he actually had achieved his effort is beyond all of us, I’m sure, but it’s a curious position, just as his natal Neptune is at the MC of the chart.
Then again, Neptune on the MC fits with CNN’s having reported his having visited Pulse some times before, and that he had drunk alcoholic beverages as well while there. Then again, if he was seeking freedom from those “inner demons” he might have seen, such a need to break free could well have been the case at this time.
If his time of birth had been around the time of this chart, offering that Fixed T-square, his Moon would have formed a Resonant Blooming UQSXT to the Saturn-Pluto semisextile in the shooter’s chart. With the triggers in play, his Saturn-Pluto semisextile midpoint is 24 Scorpio 02, forming at least a partile if not a perfected conjunction to his natal Sun with the resonant point created by a 1°06 orb to Saturn and a 1°04 orb to Pluto! Transiting Mars would have energy point in the additional energies in the chart. While the Mutable Grand Cross was the trigger for the timing of the event, the natal energies as they tied in to all of the ongoing dynamics would have pushed it over the top.
Of course we’ll never have all of the answers. There can be no Solar or Lunar Returns to assist since we dont know the shooter’s time of birth. Who and what he might have become if he had moved beyond those fears and doubts, the anger and hate and what I sensed was self-loathing, we’ll never know now any more than we will about the 49 others who died on the 12th of June.
Anderson Cooper reminds us in his special CNN coverage of Orlando that beyond the hate, there were also random acts of courage, acts we must remember and honor those who were so courageous in those wee hours, frightening, terror-filled moments between life and death. As I complete this article now, Cooper announces, “Geraldo Ortiz Himenez–he was just 25–the last of the victims, has been identified.”
Lin-Manuel Miranda in accepting one of his awards–this for best score–wrote a sonnet, claiming he’s too old for free style rap now. While I disagree, the following is worth hearing one more time–and committing the last line to memory. Is there anything more than that? How can there be? As he says, “And love is love is love is love is love is love is love cannot be killed or swept aside.”